Summer Fun

Every summer various departments at the shitshow throw barbecues.  At these barbecues the departments pay for food and beverages as a mid-year “thank you and keep up the great work.”  People can play games like softball and basket ball, or just sit and chat.  Seems like a great idea doesn’t it?   Not when you combine socially awkward people and Bob like figures.  

My department’s picnic was earlier this week.  It brought back some good memories from picnics in the past.  

At one picnic some Bob figure thought it would be a great idea to bring some boomerangs to the picnic.  This Bob figure then thought it would be a great idea to try to throw the boomerangs by the people playing catch.  This same Bob figure was then surprised when he threw the boomerang and it circled back only to hit on of the guys playing catch.

This year the flunktional managers had the bright idea of making people bring their own lunches to the picnic while the flunktional managers all pitched in and bought some generic sodas for everyone!  What a treat!  When new hires found out about this year's brown bag policy they decided to organize a pot luck however they used the wiki for all communication and planning (see Wiki, Wiki, wiki).  Since no one over the age of 35 knows how to even log onto the wiki the picnic comprised a bunch of young people cooking out food they organized while all the “old timers” ate peanut butter and jelly sandwiches wondering how and when everyone else organized the potluck.

When the department does spring for the food, it’s usually some family members catering service which serves food that McDonald’s would be embarrassed to call food.

While the above stories are entertaining, the funniest thing of all is the segregation during the “bonding,” which after all is the main purpose for these picnics.   When the food is being served it’s like high school clicks all over again.  All the flunktional managers sit at one table, all the younger people sit at another table, and all the “old timers” sit at another table.  

Because the only thing I walk away with from a shitshow picnic is indigestion and a sun burn, I throw rocks.