One of the funniest things about the Shitshow is its security guards (rent-a-cops). Most defense contractors get their security from government approved agencies, such as Pinkerton, to prevent just anyone from walking onto the premises. You may have heard of Pinkerton from the old Western movies, like "3:10 to Yuma". In the old days, they were a force to be reckoned with; a militia of gunslinging cowboys that the US government could count on to protect its interests. Today, this very same security force is comprised of incompetent high school dropouts and grandmothers. Yup, grandmothers. (At minimum wage, I guess you get what you pay for.)
The main purpose of security at the Shitshow is to make sure that anybody walking onto the premises has a badge. This is really their only job and they can’t even do that. You can often walk right past them because…they’re incompetent high school dropouts and grandmothers! It’s hard to notice somebody walking through the main gate when you’re talking to your buddy with your back turned, reading a book, talking on the phone, or even sleeping.
So they need a little nudge sometimes. “Excuse me, would you like to see my badge?” They always jump out of their seat with that one. They not only look at your badge, but come over and touch it to make sure it’s real. Because as the guy who could have snuck past security but chose not to, you’re most likely the biggest security threat and need to be closely inspected! If you ever do walk right past them and they miraculously catch you, they get very mad and sometimes threaten to report you. Of course, nobody takes them seriously because they’d only be reporting themselves for failing to do their job.
Because Hollywood nightclubs have better security than the Shitshow, I throw rocks.
No comments:
Post a Comment