Meetings Gone Bad

One of the favorite pastimes at the Shitshow is the Meeting. For some reason or another people at the Shitshow have a fever and the only prescription is more meetings. In the dark ages when I used to work at the Shitshow, I would sit in at least 3 to 8 hours of meetings per day. Yes, that is correct- sometimes I would have 8 hours of meetings per day! Think about how screwed up that is! That means my entire workday (100%) is consumed by meetings. One may ask why do we need all these meetings? That is a very good question. I have wondered that myself. Flunktional management loves the following pitiful excuses to conduct a meeting:

-Daily TagUp Meetings aka "We need to babysit everyone"
-"go forward" plan meetings aka "We dont know WTF we're doing"
-Configuration Control Board meetings aka "We let process get out of control"
-Quality Review Board meetings aka "We need to give the appearance of making quality products"
-Failure Review Board Meetings aka "when shit doesnt work, we need to do something"
-All Hands Meetings aka "Flunktional Management needs something to do"
- Corrective Action Board Meetings aka "The Shitshow is a mess and we dont know what to do so lets pretend to fix it"
- Lean Engineering Meetings aka "It just sounds cool so lets meet to say we did"

These are just a small segment of the millions of meeting topics that the Shitshow thinks are important enough to justify a meeting. One of my favorites all time is when we had a meeting to discuss how to have meetings. For example, we need to create an agenda for the meeting, create attendance lists, make sure relevant stakeholders are there, etc.

Because the Shitshow wastes everyones time in worthless meetings, I throw rocks.