New Business

One of the most hilarious things I used to encounter on a daily basis at the Shitshow was new business. We would have depart-"mental insanity" meetings where the Zookeeper and King Kong would get up there and spew all this rambling nonsense about all these new contracts but the funny thing was that this would be the last we would ever hear about them because the business would all go elsewhere. The problem is that years of running the business like a shitshow has angered many of our customers by driving up their costs and having huge schedule delays until they can role out their new products. The propoganda got so bad that flunktional management would even go onstage at the "departmental reality show" and start referring to programs that were in the concept phase and not even accepting bids yet as new business. Desperate times call for desperate measures at the Shitshow.....at one point, Flunktional management was referring to a program which the Shitshow lost to another company and was protesting the decision as "new businees". I mean, you cant make this stuff up it was so pathetic. What was truly amazing is that all of the clowns at the departmental insanity meetings would be sitting there drooling on themselves while they believe the Zookeeper's propoganda. The most hilarious aspect of these meetings was when one of the people in the audience would ask the Zookeeper "what are we doing to become more competitive" and the Zookeeper would respond with all of his "strategies". Give me a break! What strategies? They have no strategies other than to let King Kong run wild and drive all the talent out of the company and throw chairs at people.

Because the Shitshow has no end in sight, I throw rocks.