John Smithed

 "John Smithed" is another term we had come up with to help describe the operations at the shitshow.  It's the newest term in the Shitshow lexicon.  Let me tell you the origin of John Smithed.

Just last Friday a little issue came up.  It’s going to require a lot of work and expertise to address, however manpower is currently low do to other activities.  So what does flunktional management do?  They assigned John Smith to lead the issue.

When John Smith was first assigned to the issue I had no idea who he was.  Since John Smith came from the same department I work in the program management lead asked me if I knew John Smith.  I replied no.  At that time I warned them about flunktional management’s tendency to place any warm body on an issue just to satisfy the staffing requirement requested from the program (see Warm Body Syndrome).

Long and behold I was right.  Turns out John Smith was a new hire right out of college, with no relevant experience (technical or leadership) that could help with the issue despite flunktional management claiming he was very knowledgeable in certain aspects of the system where the issue was.  In fact before the kickoff meeting, John Smith asked me why he was even there since he didn’t know anything about the system or what was going on.

Luckily the program quickly figured out John Smith didn’t know anything and removed him from the effort before he even started.   While John Smith is a Bob figure, this event was not a fault of his own; it is just another prime example of warm body syndrome.

From this event the term "John Smithed" was born.

John Smithed - Being offered a job or opportunity then getting it pulled from you before you even start.  It’s kind of similar to someone PK’d you (see PK’d), but to a whole new level.

Because the term "John Smithed" was invented, I throw rocks.