Body Language

(As mentioned in the previous post "The Real Matrix", every engineer has three bosses: Lead, IPT Lead, and Functional Manager)

While I interact regularly with my Lead, I occasionally get the pleasure of interacting with my IPT Lead: Duckface. You see, because of Matrix Management, Duckface's opinion of me matters alot, since his direct feedback goes into my performance review. But even though he sits twenty feet away, Duckface has no idea what I do, as he never comes by my desk...ever.

So if I want him to know that I actually accomplished something, I have to swing by his desk and tell him. And boy is that fun, because each time I approach him with "Can I talk to you for minute?" Duckface gives me a look like I just told him that he is being audited by the IRS. He puckers his lips out (like a duck), closes his eyes, and starts rubbing his forehead profusely. "(Sigh) Sure..." he says.

I could be telling him that I just corrected a mistake that would have cost the team $1 million, it doesn't matter. Because the entire time I'm talking, he has his eyes closed and his puckered face in his hands, as if he is counting how long it will be before I finish. When I do, he simply says "Is that it?" I confirm. "Oh, okay", he says, "well, thanks for doing that." And he swivels back around in his chair, back to work on whatever he was doing before I interrupted. Now keep in mind, this happens every time I go see Duckface. That's what we call 'positive reinforcement' at the Shitshow.

Because the Shitshow promotes people who actually hate human interaction to positions of leadership, I throw rocks