Internal Careers Website

As mentioned in the posts The Perks of Knowing an Engineer and Easy as if you never worked here, the internal careers website is cruel joke used to make engineers think that they have an inside track to internal job postings. The internal website is no different than the external website available to any outsider, nor does it provide any more information other than the vague jargon posing as a job description.

Sadly, these vague internal job descriptions are intentional. The Shitshow doesn't want people knowing what team the job is for or who the hiring managers actually are. Apparently, they are worried that if they disclosed such trivial information that it might increase nepotism within the company. Plus, it might actually allow good candidates to get past the recruiters who don't know anything, and we wouldn't want that would we?

After they've sent dozens of resumes into the black abyss, most engineers don't even bother to check the internal careers website anymore . Add that to the fact that many job openings never make it to the website because they get filled behind the scenes by one of the hiring manager's cronies anyway. Can you say nepotism?

But sometimes a hiring manager doesn't have a crony in mind for a job opening and he is forced to seek outside candidates. A few weeks ago, a hiring manager from one of the other teams put up a job posting to hire a new functional manager. The job description was so vague and difficult to find that it got a grand total of...two applicants. Since the hiring manager didn't know who these applicants were, he threw those applications in the trash almost immediately. He then mosied on over to my functional manager and asked "Do you have any guys in your team that might be interested?" Naturally, my functional manager said "Uh..I don't know. Maybe one of my brown-nosing leads will be interested."

And so they told this no-good brown-nosing lead about the job opening and nobody else. Now this lead couldn't manage a lemonade stand, yet he was the only person that knew about the job. And so he applied for it and got the job on the spot.

Yup, sounds like they really found a way to prevent nepotism. Prevent anyone from knowing anything about job openings except managers that are already in power and their cronies.

Because by trying to eliminate nepotism, they make it worse, I throw rocks.