Holiday Parties

It’s that time of year again, time for holiday parties!  For those of you at non-Shitshow companies you’re probably looking forward to these parties.  In fact your parties actually resemble those depicted by Hollywood - people having a good time, unlimited supply of drinks, significant others are more than welcome, and it wouldn’t be too hard to believe a Santa Clause at the party handing out presents to the little ones. 

At the Shitshow, holiday parties are yet another way the Shitshow adds to the holiday depression rate.  First off employees are only allowed to go to one Holiday party at the discounted holiday rate of $5 to $20.  That’s right, they must choose between program parties and functional parties.  Secondly significant others are welcomed but they must pay full price which for a cheaper party cost $50.   While there might be alcohol, it is made very clear that the bar is a no host bar meaning the employees will be paying $10 for a beer if they want one.  To add insult to injury, the food at Home Town Buffett is better than the food served at the party.   That’s right, significant others who pay $50 or more end up with overcooked fish or dried out chicken.   Not to mention, if you do decide to pay to go the party you’ll be hanging out with the likes of the Zookeeper, King Kong, flunkies galore, Queen Perfume and Bob figures who come out of the woodwork to “socialize.”   Lastly, most of these parities occur during working hours when you’re expected to return to work after the party.  And of course, you’re not allowed to charge company time to attend a company holiday party, instead you are expected you work extra hours or use vacation time.  

Because Charlie Brown can plan a better Christmas party, I throw rocks.