John Throws Rocks at Bob

John was a bright young worker and was someone you actually wanted on your team, a rarity at the shit show.  Of course functional management could careless that he was good at his job.  After functional management refused to promote him to a level he was qualified for, John decided to move on to greener pastures.


When John was around he liked throwing rocks, his favorite target was Bob.   As John explained, Bob embodied what was wrong with the shit show.  It’s hard to argue that point.   However, as I’ve said before, throwing rocks at the Bob’s and cockroaches is the wrong tactic.  Rocks should be thrown at managers, while lights should be shinned on the cockroaches.  Nonetheless John’s rock throwing is entertaining.


It started with random numeric pages; yes the Shit Show still uses pagers. John would page Bob with either nonexistent numbers or with other employee’s numbers.  Once John realized Bob had a text pager John started paging Bob with messages informing Bob his car was illegally parked and would be towed.  The truth was that Bob’s car was parked illegally; Bob would park in two hour parking for the entire 5 hours of his work day.  The pages became non-stop.  Even after work hours John would page Bob.  If John woke up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom, he would page Bob before he went back to sleep.  Eventually Bob just turned off his pager.


Even after John moved on to greener pastures John would call Bob’s office and leave random messages, sometimes just typing in the background until the voice mail timed out.  Eventually John figured out he needed to shine a light on the cockroaches instead of throwing rocks at them so he started calling the lab where Bob was supposed to be working and ask if Bob was there, of course if the call came in before noon or after 5pm Bob would not be around, then get all upset on the phone saying “I’ve looked all over for Bob and can’t him anywhere, he’s not even answering his pager.”


Because John cared he threw rocks.