Savings Initiative - III

A few months ago, there was an article in a prominent newspaper that our program might be on the cutting board because of escalating cost. The next day, management sent out an email asking for everyone to stop what they are doing and start brainstorming some cost-savings ideas. They even gave us a charge number.

While it was a noble effort, it fell short in one obvious way: it wasn’t anonymous. These Savings Initiatives always fail because nobody has any good ideas, at least none that they are willing to share with management without fear of repercussion. There are plenty of obvious ways to save cost. The problem is nobody has the balls to suggest them. If management really wanted some good ideas on where to save cost, they should make an anonymous suggestion box. I could surmise what some of the suggestions would be:

1. Fire all the Flunktional Managers. Nobody knows what they do except go to meetings and check email.
2. Fire half of the IPT Leads. Most of them just go to meetings and check email.
3. Get rid of any metrics tool that is only mandatory because it justifies the job of the tool’s creator.
4. Get rid of any meeting that is only mandatory because it justifies the job of the meeting’s creator.
5. Fire anyone whose job position is justified by a meeting or a metrics tool.
6. Fire anyone in management that does not have formal business training.
7. Fire all contractors and just pay performing employees well, underperforming employees not so well.
8. Get rid of All-Hands meetings. Management is never honest with us anyway.
9. Get rid of performance reviews. They mean absolutely nothing.
10. Get rid of Matrix Management in general.

Of course, these suggestions would probably never make it to anyone. Afterall, middle management would be the ones compiling the suggestions. Any suggestions that might threaten their job security would surely get lost in the tally. But at least employees would feel better that we got to tell management what we really think of them.

Because I cannot mention the big white elephant in the room (poor management) as an area for improvement, I throw rocks.