So a few months ago, we all got an email from Corporate that annual bonuses will be capped at 5% for employees. Most of us brushed this off since we haven't gotten anything near 5% in several years. But in retrospect, we should have suspected that something fishy was going on.
Because when you think about it, it's kind of like having your wife buy you a life insurance policy when you're in excellent health. Kind of odd, right? Then when you find out she's been putting asbestos in your oatmeal, it all makes sense.
Similarly, when it turned out that our company made record profits this year, it made perfect sense why they capped the annual bonuses at 5%. And sure enough, when it came to bonus time, we got exactly 5% this year. Amazing right? It just leaves us all wondering what it might have been had they not changed the policy.
The best part of all this is how the fat cats benefited from the new policy, because anyone who is at a senior management level or higher gets stock options. And when we have record profits, it's good for the stock price. And when we have record profits and minimal employee bonuses, it's even better for the stock price. And even though stock price might go up half a percent, it can make the value of the stock options go up by fifty percent. A fifty percent bonus. Not bad.
Because executive bonuses are exponentially-inversely proportional to employee bonuses, I throw rocks.
No comments:
Post a Comment